lover i don't have to love
by xgoldxlionsx
Summary: And I'm falling in love with the pieces of you that remind me of her... // InuYasha oneshot. MirxKag. Rated for language.


A/N: Here's another one-shot with a pairing I'm just trying on for size. I figured this was logical enough. Being together by default. Seeking each other for solace.

It guess it just fits.

title is from song: Lover I Don't Have to Love by Bright Eyes. :3

Enjoy! C:

oOo

It was over.. They did it? They did it.. They did it! Oh, thank God. It was all finally over. She didn't have to endure that terrible journey any longer. The danger was all gone. There was nothing else they couldn't handle. She didn't have to worry about her friends' safety anymore. She didn't have to be afraid. She lived. All her friends were alive. Life was finally beautiful again because he was gone.

Sango had broken down into tears of happiness when it was done. Kagome wrapped her arms around her friend and whispered soothingly into her ear. The two embraced. InuYasha collasped against a fallen tree, eyes tired, blood oozing out of his arm wound, but a small smile on his face. Shippou held his arms out as Kirara shrunk down and lept into his arms, mewing happily.

Miroku had been the only one who hadn't moved from his spot. He held his hand out. His cursed hand. His right hand. He observed the scenery. Sango, Kagome, and Shippou, hugging and sobbing. InuYasha, bleeding and smiling. Actually smiling.

The japa mala was still wrapped around his arm. He clutched his hand into a fist and winced. It still ached. Moments before InuYasha and Sango had combined their efforts to destroy Naraku, Miroku's hand began to throb horribly. It suddenly turned into a piercing pain and his Kazaana began to open, despite the japa mala still in place.

It was sucking him in. He was going to die. And his was going to drag his friends in. Miroku panicked. He had never felt so scared in his entire life. It wasn't death that frightened him; it was also being responsible for the death of his most dearest friends. But they did it. Sango and InuYasha saved him. They saved everybody. Kagome had been rendered useless by the many flying demons. Kirara and Shippou had to rescue her.

The monk glanced around once more. The many trees that had previously been standing tall had their roots ripped out of the ground, and sucked into the void in the man's hand. The scene was a wreck, but the others were alive and in one piece. Miroku wasn't sure how they had done it, but it happened and he was so relieved.

Suddenly, an ear piercing wail snapped him from his stupor and he stared at Sango, whose tears of triumph and joy had turned to those of despair and loss. Kohaku had not survived. The monk hung his head, muttering a small prayer for the boy. He lifted his eyes to Sango's quivering form in Kagome's lap. InuYasha and Miroku shared a glance, and neither of the men moved.

The only sound in the oddly quiet area was the sounds of Sango's sobs.

oOo

_SLAP._

It was audible throughout the entire village. The hustling crowd ceased movement and they fell silent, eyes glued on the scene before them.

Kagome stumbled out of the hut she had been in with Kaede, brown orbs landing on her friends.

There was a girl on the ground, shaking. Her kimono looked undone, one side slipping off of her shoulder. Blood was dripping from her lip. She was staring up at the figure before her, eyes widening with fear.

It was Sango. Her hues were brimming with angry tears. She wasn't even acknowledging the girl on the ground. She was looking directly at Miroku, who was nursing his cheek, "Sango, I can explain—" Kagome bit her bottom lip. That was the wrong thing to say. A very stupid thing to say.

" 'Explain'? _Explain_?! How the hell can you explain this, Miroku!" Sango shouted at him, wildly gesturing toward the injured girl on the dirt.

"This isn't—"

"Do not DARE, you filthy worm!" The Taijiya's voice faultered, the tears streaming down her face, "I gave you my heart and soul! _This _is how you repay me!? By courting this girl—this slut? How could you, Miroku? I thought I meant something to you!"

"You do—"

"Then what the hell were you doing?!"

"I—"

"Did you think that just because we are married, I wouldn't find out? Did you truly believe I would keep quiet about this? You broke my heart, Miroku! You are supposed to be _mine_! You are supposed to be faithful to _me_!" Sango's shout echoed throughout the village. InuYasha and a crew of men had just returned. The half-breed didn't even need an explanation to know what had happened.

"Sango—"

"Be quiet! You have no right to justify your actions, you dog!" Her eyes blazed with so much fury and sorrow, InuYasha had to lay a hand of the hilt of Tessaiga. He regarded his female friend cautiously.

"Please—" He took a step forward. Wrong move. Sango pulled a dagger from the inside fold of her kimono and flung it at holy man. InuYasha had already anticipated the heartbroken woman's move and jumped in front of Miroku, catching the dagger by its hilt before it could hit him.

"I hope you burn in hell." Sango growled, glowering dangerously. She spun on her heels and stormed away from them, but not before spitting on the girl who has remained on the ground. Villagers scrambled to get out of her way as she hurried by, Kirara following closely behind her mistress. If InuYasha was correct, she was go to the hut she shared with Miroku, gather her belongings, and leave.

Miroku made a move to go after his wife, but InuYasha stopped him, "With as pissed off as she is, she'd try to kill you—not that you don't deserve to get your ass handed to you on a platter."

"She is leaving, InuYasha! I must go after—"

"No, you won't do anything, Miroku. That was an asshole move you pulled. Do you not remember what she did a few months ago? She saved your pathetic ass and you go around and cheat on her. In broad daylight too. You disgust me." Kagome, who had been listening to what the hanyou said, begun to go after Sango, but InuYasha held an arm out to stop her too, "There's no knowing what she might do in her state. You better stay away from her too."

Kagome nodded her head in understanding. She wanted to help her friend so badly, but didn't want to risk physical pain. Sango was strong, the strongest woman she ever knew. And it was even harder for Sango because Miroku had been her first. Kagome knew that after intimacy like that for anyone that went through what Sango endured had to be the worse sort of pain, "Poor Sango.."

"I wouldn't go lookin' for her if I were you, Miroku," InuYasha continued, "you picked the wrong type of woman to fuck with. Did you forget she's a Taijiya?"

"InuYasha—"

"You're a real bastard, Miroku!" Shippou glared. Kagome's eyes widened at the boy's hostility. Shippou had always been closer to Miroku than he was to Sango, but what he had done to the woman was cause for anger and she understood that. She had just never seen him so upset at Miroku.

"I couldn't agree more, Shippou." InuYasha said, grimly.

oOo

"Look, InuYasha! Aren't these flowers just _gorgeous_?" Kagome gushed, relishing in the earth's natural beauty. The two had slipped away from the village to enjoy some peace and quiet.

Kagome was actually surprised when InuYasha slipped his hand into hers and tugged her away. He had been so distant lately that she was afraid she had done something. She wondered if he was angry at her. And if so, she constantly checked her memories to figure what it was she had done. It was nerve-wrecking.

"Yeah.." The reincarnated priestess turned to lock eyes with the hanyou. He quickly casted his attention elsewhere. Kagome's brows burrowed as she walked up to him, hand slipping under his chin to turn his face.

"What is it, InuYasha? What's wrong?" She was so soft-spoken, but the hanyou didn't need to strain his ears to hear her. A sigh escaped his lips and he gently pushed her hand away, taking a step away from her. Kagome frowned, "InuYasha?"

"We can't keep doing this, Kagome.."

"What?" The words were so simple, but so hard for her to comprehend. What couldn't they continue doing?

"This. We can't.."

"What do you mean?"

"Seeing each other.."

"But—you were the one that brought me out here.."

"No.. I mean.. you need to go." The hanyou couldn't bring his eyes to hers.

"Go? Go where?"

"Back. To your era.." That hit her hard. She was left breathless, the tears stinging her eyes.

"W-what?" She managed to choke out.

"You need to go back to your era, Kagome. You don't belong here." Kagome couldn't believe what he was saying! Didn't belong?! What was he talking about? Something must've happened. They needed to logically talk this through.

"W-what do you mean 'don't belong'? InuYasha, you don't know what you're saying."

"Yes, I do. I'm saying you have to go."

"But why?!" Kagome exclaimed, hysterically, "I have as much right to be here as you do!"

"No, you don't. You don't belong here. This isn't your era. You're intruding."

"_Intruding_!" Kagome exploded, "What the hell is that supposed to mean? Was I _intruding _when I freed you from that spell? Was I _intruding _when I was helping you find the sacred jewel shards? Was I _intruding _when I helped saved countless villages and villagers from Naraku? Was I _intruding _when.. when.." Kagome sobbed, the tears cascading down her cheeks as she stared at InuYasha through a blurred vision.

"None of that would've happened if you hadn't of come.." InuYasha murmured, but it was loud enough to reach Kagome. She was stunned. Motionless. Was.. was he blaming her?

"W.. what?"

"_You _broke the Shikon no Tama into a hundred pieces," InuYasha began, almost quietly, "If you hadn't of come here, that wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have needed you to find the shards you of the jewel _you _broke. I wouldn't have had to worry about Naraku. Sango wouldn't have lost her entire village. I wouldn't have to worry about Onigumo and Kikyou—" InuYasha's voice faultered and he fell silent.

Kagome stood still. He was blaming all of this on her. He was blaming a countless number of deaths on her. She was so shocked she couldn't speak. Her mouth gaped open, but no words could come forth. The mention of Kikyou brought her out of her trance and ignited the fire in the pit of her stomach. He couldn't go a moment without mention that cold, dead bitch.

"That's what this is about, isn't it? _Kikyou_.." Kagome snarled her name. When she received no reply or denial from InuYasha, she knew she was right, "What the hell does—"

"Everything, Kagome!" InuYasha snapped, eyes glaring into hers.

"Why can't you just let her go, InuYasha!? She's _dead_!" Kagome screamed at him, "I love you! I thought you loved me too! I thought everything was finally going to be okay and we could be happy together! Why won't you just let us be together?" She sobbed, small hands clenched into fists.

"Because every time I look at you, I see her!" InuYasha shouted back, "And it kills me, Kagome, because you're not Kikyou! I fell in love with _her_, not you! You're the ghost of the incredible woman she once was! And I'm not going to automatically stop loving her just because she's not around anymore! You look like Kikyou so much.. and sometimes, you act like her. And I'm falling in love with the pieces of you that remind me of her. I don't love you. I can't love you. Don't you understand? I don't love you because you're not Kikyou."

oOo

Miroku stumbled back into the village, hands groping for something to steady himself with. His doubled vision wasn't going to help him out and he cursed himself for once again having one too many drinks. He always had one too many these days. Especially after Sango left. He hated himself for ruining the only chance of happiness he had left. He didn't deserve to be happy.

The monk staggered his way through the village and toward the forest of InuYasha. He made his way until he was at the Bone Eater's well. Kagome had suddenly left in tears one day and never returned. Shippou, devastated at her departure, blamed InuYasha and left too. He had told Kaede that he was going to find Sango and Kirara and that was the last they heard of him.

InuYasha had moped around the village for a few days before leaving as well. Miroku was the only one left.

The small youkai had certainly surprised Miroku. He didn't believe Shippou had the courage to venture into the world on his own to seek out the Taijiya and her demonic companion. Before he left, a half-sober Miroku had asked Shippou to relay a message of the deepest regret and sincerity to his beloved Sango.

The monk collapsed onto the ground and leaned his back against the well. He glanced down at the japa mala wrapped around his arm. Even though his Kazaana was closed for good, he wasn't ready to accept that dream and take them off, in fear of dragging anybody into his void.

His eyes began to close. Just as a sigh escaped his lips, a dull thud sounded behind him. Despite his mind running at half-capacity, the monk was still alert. He struggled to get up and turned around, keeping his balance with his staff. His eyes landed on the figure before him and he instantly sobered up, "Kagome?"

"Miroku!" The girl lunged at him and wrapped her arms around his neck, squeezing him tightly. Miroku didn't hesitate to slide his arms around her waist, returning her embrace.

"What're you doing here?"

"I came back. I missed you and Sango and Shippou too much to let that jerk stop me from coming here. You're my best friends." Miroku pulled away from her and ruefully smiled down at the girl. Her browns furrowed, "What?"

"I am afraid I am the only one that remains."

"W.. what?" Kagome's eyes widened, fearfully. Miroku realized how he said that and laughed, waving his hands in front of him.

"No, no. You misunderstand me," An immediate sigh of relief from the girl, "I mean.. Shippou left."

"What? When? Why?"

"It was after you had gone and failed to return. He was devastated. He blamed InuYasha and left, in search of Sango and Kirara's village to find them."

"By himself?" Kagome's soft voice was laced with concern for the boy.

"I'm afraid so."

"And.. Inu—you said you're the only one here?"

"Yes.. InuYasha left a few days after Shippou. I have not heard from any of them."

"Oh, Miroku.." Kagome's shining orbs locked with the monk's. And suddenly, acting impulsively, Miroku closed the gap between himself and the reincarnated priestess and claimed her lips with his own.

Kagome did not protest. She returned his kiss.


End file.
